The Dream

I was a fan of Sex and the City. Four women who all had their unique take on life and each had parts of their personality that I could relate to. I was a closet hopeless romantic like Carrie, loved a beautiful home like Charlotte, wanted more like Miranda and wished I could be as confident as Samantha.

The Reality

However, I don’t live a designer lifestyle, wear Manolo’s (though a girly goal of mine is to one day own a pair of Louboutin’s) and spend like money grows on trees. I also leave the house without make-up 95% of the time and while I enjoyed wearing some labels when I was in my 20’s, unless it’s a really special piece now, I cannot justify the cost to usefulness ratio.

I’m not bitter and don’t begrudge women who live this lifestyle, though some of their antics are rather amusing from time to time, it’s just not ‘me’ and I’m getting a little tired of everything being aimed at me like I should be one of these ladies.

What made them so special anyway? Why has the world seemingly decided that that’s what we should all aspire to? This is why I like to make up my own mind and see what works for me. I like ‘real’ people and living my life my way, not some Hollywood writer’s way.

Real Women

I think we need more ‘real’ women to look up to. There is no straightforward stereotype anymore where we all have to get married and have kids and everything is merry sunshine. We live in a new world and it’s HARD! We have issues to deal with that our parents and grandparents never had to and the expectations are overwhelming some days. I want someone to look up to who actually knows what we go through on a daily basis, that not getting pregnant immediately after saying ‘I do’ (if we even decide to marry in the first place, and I did) is not something to be shamed for, that has to make the decisions that we all do everyday such as how much gas to put in the tank so that we can still pay the hydro bill and who tries their best to get through each day and make ends meet and make a future for their family without a fairy godmother to swoop in and make everything perfect.

How would this gal and her world work? She’d be slightly overweight because frankly, while buying organic is a wonderful idea, for my budget, it’s not practical and doable on a daily basis and staples like mac and cheese with tuna or tomatoes and beef and green peppers are the norm as we try to get nutrition in on a budget. She’d be in organized chaos because that is how most of the women I know are. We all work hard and while some of us would love to cook dinner for our families every night that are gourmet quality, we can’t seem to drag ourselves to the task so we cheat and make it look like we slaved or, that mac and cheese in different combos comes back out.

She’d have decent clothes, but most pieces would be a season or two behind and there would be far less brand names than Hollywood would like. She’d have one really nice handbag, but realistically, she’d have a practical one that holds everything and had scuffs on it, that’s life after all. She wouldn’t be wearing heels everywhere though she’d love it if that were possible. Standing in those for more than 30 minutes on a hard floor is just not realistic no matter how comfy you say they are. And she wouldn’t be driving a brand new luxury SUV, gas and insurance cost far too much, but she’d have something decent that gets from A to B with a few toys on it. Her nails and hair, she doesn’t have time or the funds for 3 hours at a high-end salon every six weeks. She stretches out her visits and, if she’s anything like me, her nails are more often broken and sans lacquer except for special occasions and treats…..which are rare.

And she squirrels away extra money for bad times which do come and she is paranoid about. She knows how hard it is to keep up and she worries.

She is well-educated, and that doesn’t have to mean post-secondary, she’s life-smart and savvy and knows how the world works. She’s been around the block a few times, her house is not perfect and clutter-free and she knows how to appreciate the small things.

Media Messages

While the images and examples we are continually barraged with are great in a lot of ways, showing empowered women in taking on the world, I want to know how she gets the rest done on a daily basis and that her hands do indeed get dirty.

I would love to have that high-paying power job in the city, wear the latest fashions and eat whatever I want without gaining an ounce and have a staff of 5 to handle my life, but I don’t. I am my own personal assistant, shopper and image consultant, I drive myself and I’m the one who cleans the bathrooms at home. I am my own staff.

The woman I want to look up to holds her head up and smiles and is doing the best she can. She’s real, she knows and she’s trying her hardest every single day. She’s my heroine.

How do you feel about the media’s message to women? Who are the women you admire? Who is a role model for you?


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Amy (NonMom) Bio

I’m Non-Mom, a 33 year old married gal from Southern Ontario, Canada. I’ve travelled through Europe, I long to live in London (retirement condo?) or near to it, I love purses and Martha Stewart. I love to learn, and I love to craft. My friends and family think I’m a little nutty for my myriad of hobbies, but I just love them all and want to try them all. I taught myself to crochet in 2009 on a whim and now have stashes of yarn throughout my home.

I adore munchkins, but, as the name indicates, I don’t have any. I do however have a hubby and two beautiful cats who keep me on my toes. There are many a day when I would argue that the three of them must somehow equate to one kid LOL.

I made a major career and life change in 2008 and am attempting to move onward and upward doing what I love and utilizing those expensive pieces of paper I studies so hard for: marketing and writing.

On my blog I offer great tips and info for us ‘sans-kids’ people as well as act as a translator between those with kids and those without. I don’t quite fit in the non-parent category, but I also don’t have kids so I’m naturally in the middle of the two and that’s how NonMom came to be!